[Rick Masters]

June 13, 2017

A starving, ladderless peasant lays out empty egg bags beneath the nest of an unsuspecting Ozone Warbler, hoping against hope that an egg will fall into one.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.
The man starved. His family starved. His dog starved.
The cat ate them all.

[Rick Masters]

April 14, 2017

A taxidermist stealthily approaches an Ozone Warbler resting peacefully in its nest.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

June 20, 2017

High in the forest canopy, an Ozone Warbler waits contentedly for a mate to come.
And then, perhaps, an egg!
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

June 22, 2017

Early in the morning, two cooks from a nearby North Korean restaurant remove a sizzling Ozone Warbler from a 16,000 volt power pole.
"Good thing we had that bag to put over its head," says one cook. "I think it was looking at me."
"Just in time for the Early Bird Special!" says the other.

[Rick Masters]

June 20, 2017

Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

VIDEO: http://video.dailymail.co.uk/video/mol/2017/06/28/7350242344113425972/1024x576_MP4_7350242344113425972.mp4
"In this rare video footage," says a professor from the university, "we get a first-hand glimpse of an Ozone Warbler attempting to nest in a tree it has chosen from high above. Clearly, the nesting technique of the Ozone Warbler is unique in the avian world. Rather than land in a tree and build its nest, the Ozone Warbler builds its nest on the way down by spinning quickly around, then lands in the tree with the colorful nest fully arrayed. Judging by its intense facial expressions, we suspect that the creature is thinking more about attracting a female than flying during this time. Once the nest is in place, the male assumes the mating position and gazes upward in anticipation of the arrival of a female. Afterwards perhaps, an egg will be laid, ensuring the survival of the species!"
    Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

June 12, 2017

A novice taxidermist cautiously approaches an Ozone Warbler high in a tree. As he gets closer, the creature begins to clack and snap.
"I don't think it likes me," the novice says, nervously.
"Climb up there and grab it by the ankle," shouts the master taxidermist from below. "Just don't stand under it."
"Just don't... What?" asks the novice, confused.
"Don't stand under it!" repeats the master taxidermist.
"Why not?"
"Move over!" shouts the master taxidermist. "Get over to the side!"
"Why? Oh, pfftt!! Arghh!! Pftui!!"
"Told ya..."

[Rick Masters]

July 6, 2017

As starving peasants watch hungrily, meaner starving peasants search the nesting crater of an Ozone Warbler for an egg as a lone riot policeman stands idly by.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Bob Kuczewski]

VIDEO: http://video.dailymail.co.uk/video/mol/2017/06/28/7350242344113425972/1024x576_MP4_7350242344113425972.mp4

I just watched this video, and it's very disturbing how fast things went sour.

In the course of 60 seconds it went from a nice day of flying ...

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... to a mildly out of control glider ...

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... to a fully out of control glider ...

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... to throwing a parachute ...

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... to wrestling with the tangled parachute ...

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... to plummeting through the tree tops ...

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... to impacting the ground ...

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... all in exactly 60 seconds.

If you watch the video with sound, you'll hear the terror in his voice (often screaming) as he loses control of the glider, wrestles with the parachute, and then impacts the ground.

As I said, it's very disturbing. It's also very sobering.

Do you know the outcome? Did the pilot survive?

[Rick Masters]

I'm afraid, Bob, he was plucked, stuffed and mounted.
What you thought were screams were actually squawks of joy at not having to carry the terrible weight of a hang glider from his car to takeoff
and the relief he felt knowing that had he been flying a hang glider, it might have collapsed.
Ozone Warblers know these things.
Laundry good. Sticks bad.
He'll be nesting again in a few months. With a limp.