[Rick Masters]

November 8, 2015

A female Ozone Warbler perches on a branch.
Her cries of "Hallop! Hallop!" carry through the forest in hopes a male will approach.

[Rick Masters]

Excited onlookers spot a suspected ozone warbler in tree, unaware of the terrible danger they were facing.

    On Sunday, hikers spotted a fleeting shape in a tree.
    "It must be an ozone warbler," they cried, "but where is its nest?"
    Search as they might, no nest could be found.
    Puzzled, they took the above photo to the university and asked an ornithologist to examine it.
    "Indeed!" exclaimed the professor. "What you saw was not an ozone warbler, but its distant relative, the noxious paraphyletic ushpah. These unfortunate and angry creatures have lost their ability to fly and now can only hop around forlornly from tree to tree, yearning for days past when they ruled the skies.
    "You are very lucky that you did not try to climb the tree or shake the branches," he added. "The noxious paraphyletic ushpah doesn't like that. It is known to hurl excrement at those who threaten its territory. And whatever you do, do not walk beneath one. Having adequate coverage is vital in the vicinity of a noxious paraphyletic ushpah!"

Further reading
Monophyletic, Paraphyletic and Polyphyletic by Dave Hone
https://archosaurmusings.wordpress.com/2008/12/19/monophyletic-paraphyletic-and-polyphyletic/

[Bob Kuczewski]

"These unfortunate and angry creatures have lost their ability to fly and now can only hop around forlornly from tree to tree, yearning for days past when they ruled the skies."
  :
"You are very lucky that you did not try to climb the tree or shake the branches," he added. "The noxious paraphyletic ushpah doesn't like that. It is known to hurl excrement at those who threaten its territory."

[Rick Masters]

November 10, 2015

Taxidermists lower an Ozone Warbler to the ground prior to stuffing.
"We love finding Ozone Warblers in November," said one taxidermist, "so close to Thanksgiving."

[Rick Masters]

A camera fitted to an Ozone Warbler by ornithologists from the university records the choice of a nesting site.
https://vimeo.com/27951537

[Rick Masters]

November 25, 2015

On the advice of ornithologists from the university, taxidermists place a large pillow below the nest of an Ozone Warbler in hopes of catching a falling egg.

[Rick Masters]

Stalking the nocturnal Ozone Warbler


Two taxidermists, alerted by the characteristic cries of "Hallop! Hallop!" emanating from the forest nearby to the pub where they had been drinking, ascend trees to discover a rare nocturnal Ozone Warbler ten stories up..


After the nocturnal Ozone Warbler is carried away by taxidermists to be stuffed, ornithologists from the university examine the nest for any evidence of an egg.

[Rick Masters]

November 4, 2015
Increase in sightings of nocturnal Ozone Warblers


A taxidermist captures a nocturnal Ozone Warbler. No egg was found.

    "We are puzzled by the increased sightings of the nocturnal Ozone Warbler," said an ornithologist from the university. "Ozone Warblers have poor night vision so it seems unlikely that they would attempt to nest in the dark. Perhaps they are slow to adapt to the shorter days of winter."
    Another ornithologist countered, "The only explanation can be that the creatures are nearly blind. Irregardless of darkness, it is difficult to discern any difference in the choice of nesting locations made by Ozone Warblers. These choices are generally so poor - whether day or night - as to threaten the survival of the species."
    "That explains a lot," said a nearby taxidermist. "They must land by "feel." First, they feel the tree. Then they land in it and make a nest!"

[Rick Masters]

August 23, 2015 (continued)

Taxidermists get a rare look at a pair of Ozone Warblers mating.

    Taxidermists were prevented today from stuffing a pair of Ozone Warblers found mating in a tree.
    "We had them by the ankles and were preparing to pull them down when ornithologists from the university suddenly showed up and told us to stop."
    "Generally, we allow the taxidermists to take specimens but in this case there was a possibility of an egg being laid in the near future, so we had to call them down."
    The Ozone Warblers were left in the tree, seemingly oblivious to the activity below, as ornithologists scattered air mattresses around the base in hopes of catching a falling egg. Finally everyone left and the Ozone Warblers resumed their mating ritual with calls of "Hallop! Hallop!" ringing through the forest.
    "How's a guy supposed to make a living?" asked a taxidermist, later.

December 2, 2015
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/bay-of-plenty-times/news/article.cfm?c_id=1503343&objectid=11554836
Taxidermists remove a large nest from a small tree. No sign of an egg.

[Rick Masters]

Incredible footage of an Ozone Warbler choosing a tree to nest in.
Rare video footage of an Ozone Warbler in the act of nesting.

    Ornithologists at the university have released a video that was attached to the head of a member of the mysterious Ozone Warbler species.
    "Not only have we captured rare footage of an Ozone Warbler choosing its nesting tree and dropping into it," said an ornithologist, excitedly, "but we now have evidence that Ozone Warblers are quite interested in the nesting behavior of other Ozone Warblers. We know this because we had attached the video camera to the head of an Ozone Warbler who avidly observed the other descend into its nest.
    "Additionally, we now know the method of descent - a very peculiar spinning motion unknown among other avian species.
    "We are fairly certain this spinning motion is a form of instinctual mating behavior, performed to attract females to the nest."

    The video also includes footage from a second camera showing taxidermists removing the Ozone Warbler from the tree (to be stuffed and put on display at the university), and includes comments by Professor Slingsby, several taxidermists, a reporter and even the Ozone Warbler itself, squawking incessantly.

http://www.couriermail.com.au/video/id-9naWlnODr5SmKTzv7_CSv74binOWSrmG/Paraglider-plummets-into-tree