[Rick Masters]

April 20, 2018

Taxidermists begin plucking an Ozone Warbler found in a nesting crater.
"Look," says the novice taxidermist, holding up something. "I found an egg!"
"That's not an egg, you idiot," says the master taxidermist. "It's the creature's gizzard."
"Gizzard? Yuk!!"
Suddenly, two unidentified men approach wearing shopping bags on their heads.
"I give you fifty dollar!" says one.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

April 22, 2018

In this rare photograph supplied by an Audubon wildlife photographer, an Ozone Warbler, crouching below its colorful nest, strains to lay an egg as other Ozone Warblers circle above.
    "Finally, we have an idea of why eggs are rarely found," says a professor from the university. "The creatures, by building their nests above them, rather than below, cannot lay their eggs in the nest. Instead, the egg falls to the ground below and shatters, its broken pieces no doubt carried off by ravenous forest animals."
    After apparently laying an egg, the exhausted creature returned to calling to the other Ozone Warblers with cries of "Hallop! Hallop!"

Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

In this rare photograph, two Ozone Warblers ars shown apparently mating in flight.
    "At first, it looked as if they were mating in the air, which was exciting for us because nothing like it has ever been captured on film," said a professor from the university. "But on closer examination, however, it appears they are doing something else."

Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

April 22, 2018

When the overworked taxidermists arrived, they found the nesting crater of the Ozone Warbler to be empty.
    "Where could it have gone?" asked the novice taxidermist, his fingers twitching in unconscious plucking motions. "They said it was here only a few minutes ago."
    "I don't know, replied the master taxidermist. "Let's have some breakfast. Do you like North Korean food?"
    "North Korean food? Yum!!"


"Did you pay them fifty dollar?"
"No, Chef Chief, we got there first."

Meanwhile, around the corner, a shadowy figure dressed in black furitively places a handwritten sign on the sidewalk.

[magentabluesky]

An Ozone Warbler Egg has been spotted:

[Bob Kuczewski]

An Ozone Warbler Egg has been spotted:

Another win for Trump!!!

[Rick Masters]

https://www.liveleak.com/e/485920ab6542
"In this rare footage captured with a tiny video camera fastened to an Ozone Warbler, the act nesting is revealed," says a professor from the university. "However, we are unable to identify the object the creature is grasping in its right claw. Perhaps it is a bit of food that will sustain it as it waits patiently in its nest for a female."

https://www.liveleak.com/e/fa0c966917a0
"Here we have some rare footage of an Ozone Warbler creating a nesting crater, supplied by an Audubon videographer," continued the professor. "After landing, it appears to be laying an egg but, unfortunately, no egg was found."

[Rick Masters]

May 5, 2018

At a freshly-found nesting crater of an Ozone Warbler, a lone taxidermist pleads with three cooks from a nearby North Korean restaurant to search for an egg.
"You guys look in those bushes for an egg while I pluck this Ozone Warbler and stuff it"," instructs the taxidermist.
"No egg," objects a cook.
"Yeah. Well, look in those bushes over there while I drag this Ozone Warbler to my truck."
"No egg."
"Yeah... Well..."
"I give you 50 dollar!"
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

April 13, 2018

Taxidermists remove a sizzling Ozone Warbler from a power line using their spiffy ladder truck.
Starving peasants, drawn by the aroma, arrive with bottles of bar-b-que sauce.


"What kind of bar-b-que sauce did you bring?" asks a man in a white hat.
"I brought my Bone Suckin' Hot Sauce," says the dude with twitchy eyes. "'Cuz it's hot like that critter up there."


"Not me," says the other. "I got my Sticky Fingers Hot Sauce. Thought I might give that 'ol Ozone Warbler a smokin' sticky wing, Jimbo-style!"


"If sticky wings 'wa cha want," slurs the other man in a white hat, "Ya gotta try this Jagermeister Sticky Wing Sauce!"
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

May 7, 2018

An Ozone Warbler sleeps peacefully in its nest - at least until the 3:02 Express arrives.    
"I wish they'd nest in trees like other birds," said a railroad worker, sipping a beer with other excited spectators at 3:00 o'clock.