[Frank Colver]

If a wind is blowing from a forested area toward a clear area there will be sink over the trees near the transition zone. Since balloons always fly with the wind I was always ready to burn as I approached the transition zone from forest to field when flying close to the tree canopy. My theory is that as the moving air approaches the open field it starts to drop down through the forest canopy as resistance to flow decreases because of the diminishing distance to the edge of the forest. This may snare pilots flying downwind and approaching low over the forest anticipating landing in a small field (they can't hit the burner like I could).

FC

[Rick Masters]

Ornithologists point out that the dark coloration of the Ozone Warbler is an evolutionary defense or camouflage that protects them against being snatched out of their nest by their natural predators: helicopters and taxidermists.


"Virtually all birds prefer to nest in specific species of trees," says one ornithologist, "but the Ozone Warbler is a peculiar exception. It seems happy to nest in anything. Even in autumn, with winter approaching, it will nest in the bare limbs of deciduous trees rather than the sheltering boughs of nearby pines, leaving it exposed to weather and predators. This has caused great concern in the ornithological community about the survival of the species."


"Particularly disturbing is the frequent choice of nesting sites that are not well-suited to the laying of eggs," he continued. "Antennas and rooftops are especially bad. There simply is no place for the egg. It falls from the antenna or rolls off the rooftop. This also endangers the survival of the species."

[Rick Masters]

October 7, 2015

Taxidermists without ladders devise a clever way of getting an Ozone Warbler out of a tree.
Note: This method is not approved by ornithologists, who claim the practice destroys natural habitat.

[Rick Masters]

October 24, 2015

[Rick Masters]

October 25, 2015

    A taxidermist climbs an aluminum ladder to capture a nesting Ozone Warbler. The creature was discovered by hikers who heard its cries of "Hallop! Hallop!" and alerted ornithologists from the university.


    The taxidermist lowers the creature to the ground.


    As observers from the Audubon Society watch from a distance, an ornithologist carefully inspects the creature for any evidence of an egg before turning it over to taxidermists. Later, it will be stuffed and placed on display in a university wildlife exhibit.


    "The Ozone Warbler is the only avian species to suspend itself below the nest when laying an egg. We can only surmise that the egg falls to the ground and is eaten by wild animals," said the ornithologist. "Not only does this not bode well for the survival of the species, but we can't figure out how it evolved in the first place!"

[Rick Masters]

October 25, 2015

[Rick Masters]

A road sign in Austria warns motorists not to disturb Ozone Warblers nesting in trees,

[Rick Masters]

November 1, 2015

Unlike other daylight creatures, the call of the Ozone Warbler - "Hallop! Hallop!" - can be heard ringing through the forest at night, perhaps in search of a mate.

[Rick Masters]

June 28, 2015

Due to their clever camouflage scheme, Ozone Warblers would be undetectable except for their constant call of "Hallop! Hallop!"

[Rick Masters]

August 23, 2015

An apprentice taxidermist shouts down to his instructor, "I've got this Ozone Warbler by the ankle! Now what do I do?"
The instructor replies, "Just don't let go."