[Rick Masters]

June 29, 2016

High on a precipitous cliff, an Ozone Warbler searches the horizon for a mate.
"Hallop! Hallop!" His lonely cries echo through the mountain wilderness.
Will there ever be an egg?
"Fergidit," says a taxidermist. "I ain't goin' up der!"

[Rick Masters]

June 29, 2016

High above the forest floor, a taxidermist tries to grab an Ozone Warbler by the ankle.
"It's hanging out there between the trees," he complains. "I can't reach it."
A professor from the university shouts up, "Make the 'whack' sound. That scares them."
"Whack! Whack! Whack!" yells the taxidermist.
But rather than jump from its nest, the Ozone Warbler cackles happily, amused.
"It's not working," says the taxidermist. "Whadda I do now?"

[Rick Masters]

June 27, 2016

Two taxidermists lower an angry Ozone Warbler to the ground.
As it snaps and squawks, the novice taxidermist prepares to grab it by its ankle.
"Then whadda I do?" he asks.

[Rick Masters]

July 1, 2016

Snapping and squawking angrily, an Ozone Warbler climbs a light pole to escape taxidermists who have chased him from his nest.
"He's better off with us," said one taxidermist, warily eyeing three cooks from a nearby Korean restaurant, standing suspiciously on a street corner.
"At least, we don't pluck 'em."

[Rick Masters]

July 1, 2016

Taxidermists search the nesting crater of an Ozone Warbler for an egg.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.
"It looks like somebody from a nearby Korean restaurant got here first," said a taxidermist.

[Rick Masters]

July 4, 2016

Taxidermists remove a nesting Ozone Warbler from a construction crane.
"I wish they'd nest in trees like other birds," said the crane operator.

[Rick Masters]

A apprentice taxidermist tasked with capturing an Ozone Warbler climbs the wrong tree.
"That's the wrong tree, you idiot," shouts the veteran taxidermist from below. "It's the next one over!"
"Oh, fooey!" complains the novice. "You mean I gotta climb another one?"

[Rick Masters]

May 22, 2016

A utility crew responding to a power outage discovers the remains of an Ozone Warbler dangling from a power line.
"I wish they'd nest in trees like other birds," said one lineman.
The crew offered what was left of the Ozone Warbler to three cooks from a nearby Korean restaurant who arrived suddenly.
"No good. Too crunchy," snorted the cooks, driving away in a cloud of dust.

[Rick Masters]

June 16, 2016

Snapping and squawking angrily at approaching taxidermists, an Ozone Warbler's peaceful sojourn with nature is cut short.
"This one's in good shape," said a taxidermist. "I can't wait to stuff 'em!"

[Rick Masters]

May 27, 2016

Two taxidermists prepare to capture an Ozone Warbler.
"Remember," shouts the man on belay, "don't be directly under it when you grab it by its ankle."