[Rick Masters]

July 31, 2016

A taxidermist stares in amazement at a Great Northern Crunchy Warbler.
"I've never seen one before!" he says, overcome with awe. "It's so... boney!"
"The Great Northern Crunchy Warbler is rarely seen nesting in our latitudes," comments a professor from the university. "We suspect that global warming may be driving them from their native habitat."


The taxidermists excitedly carry the Great Northern Crunchy Warbler out of the forest.
"We'll remove the bones and sell it to the cooks at the nearby Korean restaurant!" says one taxidermist.
"Yeah," replies the other. "They'll think it's a tastey Ozone Warbler!"


But as the taxidermists prepare to de-bone the Great Northern Crunchy Warbler, they are overcome with compassion.
"It's so pretty..." says one. "It's not a big freaking mess like an Ozone Warbler."
"Yeah," says the other. "It was easy to pull out of the tree. And look at it. It seems so proud, so ready to leap back into the sky..."
Then in the distance, the sounds of "Whack! Whack!" waft across the hillside as other Great Northern Crunchy Warblers descend to feed.
"They must be migrating," observes a taxidermist. "Let's leave it here. Maybe it'll fly away and join the others."
"Okay," says the other taxidermist. "I'm not sure how to get all those bones out, anyway."

[Rick Masters]

As three cooks from a nearby Korean restaurant watch anxiously, an apprentice taxidermist cautiously grabs an angry Ozone Warbler by the hindquarters..
"Not there, you fool!" shouts the master taxidermist. "By the ankle, you idiot!! The ankle!!"
"What did I do?" asks the apprentice. Then, "Oh, crap! Oh, @%!@?!%!!!"

[Rick Masters]

In this rare footage provided by tourists to the forest, an Ozone Warbler is captured in the act of nesting.
By listening carefully, occasional chirps of contentment can be heard.

[eagle]

Landing in the Surf How dangerous could it be
He's lucky it wasn't in deeper water
Accidente de parapentista en la Costa Verde
Vidieo: https://youtu.be/RFrtdIKqMuw

~ Works kinda like a Sea Anchor ~

Jelly fish.jpg (14.91 KiB) Viewed 4198 times

[eagle]

Paraglider tandem acro test flight gone bad - spectacular incident
Passenger has No Helmet on a Test Flight
See Video: https://youtu.be/7c4PzV1oBjs

= Clueless =

WTF.jpg (30.52 KiB) Viewed 4194 times

[Rick Masters]

Ozone Warbler mistaken for spaceship of giants who seeded humanity

A distraught hiker, upon seeing an Ozone Warbler nesting, called NASA, insisting a spaceship flown by a race of giants who seeded humanity on Earth in ages past had landed in a tree.

"There's one of them up there!" he told the official. "I see him! He's up there!"
"Is it a horseshoe shaped spaceship?" asked the NASA person.
"Yes! Yes!" said the hiker breathlessly. "It's coming down! It's coming down! It's big!"
"Well, you'd better get outta there before they probe you," said the NASA man. "And I'll call the military to drop a nuke on it."

[Rick Masters]

August 2, 2016

Taxidermists search the nesting crater of an Ozone Warbler for an egg.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.
"The nesting behavior of the Ozone Warbler is very peculiar," said an ornithologist. "Unlike other flying creatures, they often drop into their nests at a high rate of speed, probably smashing their eggs. We can only assume the shards are carried off by small, hungry forest animals because few traces are ever found."


Soon three cooks from a nearby Korean restaurant arrive, visibly disappointed that no egg was found.
"We look everywhere," says one cook. "No egg! No breakfast special. No Warbler Foo Yung!"
"Warbler stupid!" sighs another cook. "Should land like other birds. Splat landing no good!"


"Waddaya mean, 'no egg'?" complains an angry customer. "What kind of restaurant is this?!"

[Bob Kuczewski]

"The Great Northern Crunchy Warbler is rarely seen nesting in our latitudes," comments a professor from the university. "We suspect that global warming may be driving them from their native habitat."

Either global warming or ... USHPA.

[Rick Masters]

"I left the Ozone Warbler in the car with the engine running," said the taxidermist dejectedly. "When I came out of the Quik-Stop, my car was gone..."

[Bob Kuczewski]

"I left the Ozone Warbler in the car with the engine running," said the taxidermist dejectedly. "When I came out of the Quik-Stop, my car was gone..."

The urge to nest must be very strong indeed. Was an egg found anywhere?