[Rick Masters]

September 9, 2016

Surrounded by hungry customers from a nearby North Korean restaurant, a team of taxidermists and three cooks search the nesting crater of an Ozone Warbler for an egg.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

May 16, 2016

An Ozone Warbler nests peacefully on a 240,000 volt, short-circuiting power line.
Occasionally contented chirps of "Hallop! Hallop[!" could be heard above the buzzing of the sparking electric lines.
"I wish they'd nest in trees like other birds," said a utility worker, shaking his head in disgust.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.


Man tries to recreate the savory goodness of 240,000 volt fried Ozone Warbler -- using only chicken.
"It's just not the same," he said, wistfully.

[Rick Masters]

September 14, 2016

A utility crew finds an Ozone Warbler nesting in a 4,000-volt utility line.
"I wish they'd nest in trees like other birds," said one linesman in frustration.
"These Ozone Warblers seem to think they can land anywhere. And often do," said a professor from the university.

As the unfortunate creature was lowered to the ground, three cooks from a nearby North Korean restaurant emerged from the bushes and began plucking it.
Behind them, two hungry customers search the foliage for an egg.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

"Waddaya mean, 'No egg?' What kind of restaurant is this?"

[Rick Masters]

In a unique experiment recently approved by the USDA, taxidermists funded by the university have built a nesting site for a captive Ozone Warbler.
    "Hopefully, the Ozone Warbler will feel comfortable enough in our new ISO 9000 nesting chamber to lay an egg," said a taxidermist, tugging on a protective leather glove used to ward off the snapping and squawking creature..
    Unfortunately, no egg was found.


Did the egg roll?

[Rick Masters]

Meanwhile, in a nearby North Korean restaurant...

[Rick Masters]

Starving peasants discover an Ozone Warbler resting peacefully in its nest.


Weak with hunger, the peasants claw desperately at the tree trunks, trying to shake the sleeping creature loose.


Mad with hunger, the ladderless peasants attempt to knock the Ozone Warbler from its perch high in the forest canopy using only a sapling.


Finally, their stomachs full, the happy peasants search the nest for an egg.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

An Ozone Warbler chirps happily from its sizzling and sparking nest on a 20,000 volt power line.
"I wish they'd nest in trees like other birds," said a tired utility worker in frustration.


Taxidermists, arriving late, were only able to save the seared head of the unfortunate creature.
"We give you three dollar for head," sad a cook from a nearby North Korean restaurant, unwarily.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

September 25, 2016


Ozone Warbler spotted nesting on vertical cliff face.
"We think it's trying to attract a mate," said a professor from the university as contented calls of "Hallop! Hallop!" echoed faintly through the wilderness.

[Rick Masters]

September 29, 2016

High in the forest canopy, an Ozone Warbler chirps happily.
As the satisfied cries of "Hallop! Hallop!" ring through the wilderness, the contented creature patiently scans the horizon for a mate.
Soon a female will come, and then perhaps, an egg!

"We have been notified by the Department of Agriculture to leave them up there if it looks like they might be laying an egg," said a taxidermist, unhappily.
"How are we supposed to know if they're gonna lay an egg?" he asked, irritatedly. "Whadda they do? Squawk?"

[Rick Masters]

In this rare footage shot by a starving peasant, taxidermists demonstrate a newly-developed technique for removing Ozone Warblers from power lines. A taxidermist (above) gives the signal and suddenly the "whack!" sound of a Great Crunchy Northern Warbler is blasted through a loudspeaker. The Ozone Warbler, frightened, as expected, looks around frantically and loses its grip on the wire, falling down into a net held by several taxidermists and three cooks from a nearby North Korean restaurant.

VIDEO: http://video.dailymail.co.uk/video/mol/2016/10/07/6170868332738726474/1024x576_MP4_6170868332738726474.mp4

Unfortunately, no egg was found.