[Rick Masters]

April 9, 2017

Squawking and snapping, an Ozone Warbler is cornered by two taxidermists before it can escape.
"Wadda we do now?" asks the novice taxidermist, worriedly. "I don't think it likes me."
"Don't look it in the eye. Just grab it by the ankle," instructs the master taxidermist as he prepares to seize the creature with his blue gloves. "That will make it quiet down."
"Wadda we do then?" asks the novice again, nervously.
"Why then we pluck it and stuff it, of course," replies the master taxidermist. "We're taxidermists!"
"I give you fifty dollar!" a faint voice carries up from the bushes below.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

Feeling the urge to lay an egg, an Ozone Warbler carefully chooses a tree to nest in.

[Rick Masters]

March 30, 2017

Chirping contentedly, an Ozone warbler nested happily in 34,000-volt power lines before being removed by a utility worker.
"I wish they'd nest in trees like other birds," he said, irritatedly.
He then sold the Ozone Warbler to a cook from a nearby North Korean restaurant.
"I give you fifty dollar!" the cook said, before stealthily slinking off with the creature.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.


A sizzling North Korean breakfast special: Ozone Warbler balls with sweet azuki paste (Uguisumochi).
"It was already cooked when we received it," said the cook, proudly.
"Where's the egg?"

[Rick Masters]

"This rare photograph, which has been smuggled out of North Korea, explains the dwindling numbers of Ozone Warblers in the country," explains a professor from the university.

[Rick Masters]

"In this rare photograph, taken by a wildlife photographer," says a professor from the university, "we see an Ozone Warbler in the act of nesting in a pine.
    "We can ascertain the speed of nesting (sn = v/p) by the pollen shaken loose at impact, which suggests a velocity between 25 and 30 miles per hour.
    "We do not understand why the Ozone Warbler chooses to nest at such high speeds when other birds alight gently on the branches they target. It has been suggested that the creatures are trying to 'plant' themselves firmly in the branches. However, some have actually become imbedded, rendering them useless for reproduction."
    Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

April 25, 2017

Snapping and squawking in anger, an Ozone Warbler nesting on a light pole prepares to fend off an assault by taxidermists and three cooks from a nearby North Korean restaurant.
"I give you fifty dollar!" says the head cook to the master taxidermist.
"No," he replies. "We were here first. Get lost."
"We give you breakfast special!"
"Oh, yeah? What is it?"
"Ozone Warbler balls with sweet azuki paste. Uguisumochi."
"Mmmm, I love uguisumochi. Well... Okay, then."
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

Some time later, the succulent, sizzling Warbler Balls were served.

[Rick Masters]

"In this rare video footage, taken with a tiny camera found embedded in the skull of an Ozone Warbler, we see the creature decide to make a nesting crater in a boulder field, perhaps after being unable to find a tree," said a professor from the university.
    Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

April 3, 2017

High in its forest home an Ozone Warbler chirps happily from its colorful nest.
Soon, perhaps, a mate will come.
Then an egg!
Unfortunately, a taxidermist came.
No egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

April 3, 2017

As a starving peasant stays to mark the spot, his friends run off to get a chain saw.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

April 29, 2017

An Ozone Warbler chirps and chatters scornfully as a starving peasant struggles to climb the towering tree, grasping desperately at dead branches.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.