[Rick Masters]

July 23, 2017

Two taxidermists search the nesting crater of an Ozone Warbler as a cook from a nearby North Korean restaurant carefully watches their every move.
"I give you fifty dollar!" says the cook.
"Nah. We already had breakfast."
"I give you fifty dollar and breakfast special."
"Nah. The last time we had your breakfast special it tasted funny."
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

July 25, 2017

"In this rare footage," says a professor from the university, "the damage caused by a pair of Ozone Warbler nesting in a 17,000 volt power line is clearly shown. We have asked the wildlife photographer who captured the rare footage to pixelate any details that could lead to taxidermists or cooks from a nearby North Korean restaurant discovering nearby nesting areas of the endangered species."


Clacking and snapping angrily, the creature fought off frustrated utility workers for hours.


"'Endangered species ' my a**!" said a utility worker, tiredly, after placing a giant inflatable bouncing funhouse mat with a pool of beer below the creature to entice it to jump.. "I wish the danged things would nest in trees like other birds."
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

July 28, 2017

"Hello? Is this the taxidermist?"
"Yes."
"There is some kind of warbler-thingie nesting on my chairlift."
"We'll be right there."
"Oh, please hurry. They turned off the chairlift and it's hot!"
"Do you have an umbrella?"
"No. Just a little shade from that warbler-thingie right over my head."
"Right over your head! Oh my goodness. You need to move."
"I can't. I'm in a lift chair. (pause...) Why do I need to move?"
"Well, don't look up, lady..."
"Why can't I look up? It's right there. It's... Oh my God!! Mffft! Pfew! Argh pfttt ack! Pftooey!!"

[wingspan33]

Oh my God!! Mffft! Pfew! Argh pfttt ack! Pftooey!!

[Rick Masters]

"We wuz out hunting jacks with the spotlight and we looked up and there it wuz! Som kinda weird critter!"
"What is it?" sez Homer. "I never seen nuttin like it!"
"I dunno," I sez. "Let's shoot it down and find out. So we took aim but it jumped out of the tree like it knew we were gonna shoot it."
"Dang," sez Homer. "We shulda had the dogs wit us!"
"The durn thing got away. We could hear it crashing through the bushes but we couldn't find it. I wonder what it wuz?"

[Rick Masters]

August 3, 2017

Ozone Warblers seen from space.
"A new space satellite is providing new information on nesting sites of Ozone Warblers," says a professor from the university.

[Rick Masters]

"In this rare photograph, an Ozone Warbler is discovered fastidiously arranging its colorful nest in a bush above its nesting crater," said a professor from the university.
"No doubt, it was hoping the nest would be spotted by a female who would descend and mate. And then, perhaps, an egg would come!
"Unfortunately," he added, "it was discovered by wandering taxidermists so we were unable to study the creature further."
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

July 11, 2017

A cook from a nearby North Korean restaurant searches for the egg of an Ozone Warbler spotted nesting on the cliff.
"When I find egg, I make famous Torrey Pines Omelette!" says the cook. "But you can't make omelette without breaking a few eggs."
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

August 6, 2017

"In this rare photograph," says a professor from the university, "an Ozone Warbler carefully chooses a nesting site before slamming into it."
Now ornithologists are considering changing the name of the Ozone Warbler to the Ozone Tree Slammer.
"Calling the creature a 'warbler' causes confusion with another avian species," explains a representative of the Audubon Society. "But if we rename it the Ozone Tree Slammer, everyone will immediately know what it is."

"Yup. Looks like another Ozone Tree Slammer laid an egg," said an onlooker, instinctively, as natives search the nest.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

August 9, 2016

"We don't see it," say the novice taxidermists, worriedly.
"That's because you climbed the wrong tree, you idiots!" shouts the master taxidermist from below.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.