[Rick Masters]

August 8, 2017

Surrounded by starving peasants, two taxidermists pull an Ozone Tree Slammer, snapping and clacking angrily, out of the tree where it was peacefully nesting.

[Rick Masters]

August 15, 2017

Two taxidermists cautiously approach the colorful nest of an Ozone Tree Slammer.
"It's in there, somewhere," says the master taxidermist.
"I can hear it snapping and clacking," says the novice, nervously. "I don't think it likes us..."
"Of course it doesn't like us," snorts the master taxidermist. "We're taxidermists!"
"You mean, it knows we're going to pluck it and stuff it?"
"Maybe," the older man replies. "but you just reach in there and grab it by the ankle and it'll quiet down."
"Uh... Then whatta I do?"
"Just don't get under it."
"Why?"
"Don't get under it or you'll find out. No good taxidermist ever gets under an Ozone Tree Slammer," he emphasizes, emphatically.
"Why?"
A man below shouts up, "I give you fifty dollar!"
A woman screams, "What's this on my car!!?"
The taxidermists ignore them.
"The Ozone Warbler has been renamed the Ozone Tree Slammer following complaints from the Audubon Society," explains a professor from the university to a utility worker, taxinomically.
"I wish they'd nest in trees like other birds," bemoans the man, regarding the broken streetlamp tiredly.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

August 17, 2017

Snapping and clacking angrily, an Ozone Tree Slammer is removed from its comfortable nest by two taxidermists and a cook from a nearby North Korean restaurant.
"Just grab it by its ankle," instructs the master taxidermist. "That will calm it down."
"But I don't think it likes me..." whines the novice.
"Of course it doesn't like you," retorts the master, "we're taxidermists!"
"I give you fifty dollar!" says the cook with pluck.

[Rick Masters]

August 22, 2017

Having pulled the Ozone Warbler out of its nesting crater, cooks from a nearby North Korean restaurant begin plucking the creature for their rapidly approaching Breakfast Special.
    "It is like manna from heaven," says one, almost in awe, thankful for being spared the task of preparing another Breakfast Special made from hair, fingernails and the occasional grub.
    "Good thing we got here first!" says another, furtively glancing around for taxidermists.

[Rick Masters]

August 17, 2017

"In this rare photograph, supplied to us by a member of the Audubon Society who wishes to remain unnamed," says a professor from the university, "we see an Ozone Warbler chirping happily beside its nest deep in the forest. The purpose of the colorful nest appears to be to attract a mate. Combined with the song of the creature - "'Hallop! Hallop!' - it seems likely that a mate will fly by sooner or later. Then perhaps, an egg will come."
    Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

Audio: http://www.orangefreesounds.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Chickens-clucking.mp3
>>OPEN AUDIO IN NEW TAB AND RETURN TO VIDEO<<

    "In this rare footage," said a professor from the university, "taxidermists lower an Ozone Warbler from its nest 150 feet up in a tall pine."
    "By the time we reached the ground," said a taxidermist, "the creature had stopped snapping and clacking and was almost friendly. It seemed a shame to then pluck it and stuff it. But, hey! That's what we do. We're taxidermists."
    "I give you fifty dollar!" suddenly came a voice from the undergrowth.

[Rick Masters]

August 27, 2017

Taxidermists begin plucking an ozone warbler retrieved from its nesting crater.
"I can't wait to stuff it!" exclaims one in anticipation.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

August 29, 2017

In this rare photograph, the nest of an Ozone Warbler is covered by PETA activists with paper squares to conceal it from taxidermists.
Meanwhile, outside a nearby North Korean resaurant, activists protest the popular Ozone Warbler breakfast special.

[Rick Masters]

October 9, 2017

Cooks from a nearby North Korean restaurant follow the string to the nest of an Ozone Warbler to search for an egg.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

September 4, 2017

Deep in the lonely forest, the plaintive call of the Ozone Warbler echos amongst the evergreens.
"Hallop! Hallo!" it cries.
Soon, perhaps, a mate will come.
Then perhaps an egg!!
Unfortunately, no egg was found.