[Rick Masters]

April 23, 2018

A Great Northern Crunchy Warbler has been spotted nesting within the range of the Ozone Warbler.
"It is unusual for the Great Northern Crunchy to be seen this far south," said a professor from the university. "This may be due to the El Nino affecting migratory routes."

[Rick Masters]

Taxidermists Display New Tools

A taxidermist in forest camoflauge demonstrates the latest Ozone Warbler Grapple-Gun.
"This thing is awesome," says the taxidermist. "You just fire it into the nest, then hook the end of the cable to the winch and the creature is on the ground in 30 seconds!"


Cook from a nearby North Korean restaurant reveals the secret behind the drop in price of Ozone Warbler breakfast specials.

[Rick Masters]

Taxidermista takes aim at an unsuspecting Ozone Warbler.
(Use Ctrl-Shift-hyphen to view)

[Rick Masters]

June 24, 2018

Without a care in the world, an Ozone Warbler nests happy and secure in the only tall tree in the meadow.
"Hallop! Hallop!" it cries, hoping a mate will hear its call.
And then, perhaps, an egg!
Meanwhile, far below, taco wagons arrive, awaiting the lady with the grapple-gun.
But when she does not arrive, taxidermists scale the great cottonwood and lower the creature, clacking and snapping, into the arms of the taco drivers.
"I can't wait to pluck it," says one taxidermist.
"I can't wait to stuff it!" says another.
Bus as soon as they begin, the taco drivers begin to protest.
"We were here first!" they say. "The creature is ours."
"Alright. But we got it out of the tree for you."
"We will give you our taco special," the taco drivers reply. "Complimentary!"
"Well..."
"With extra sauce. And guacamole!"
The creature is loaded into the taco wagon as hungry campers gather around.

Brought to you by the same people who brought you the

                Taco truck rule #4: You do what ya gotta do when ya run outta hamburger.


Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

June 26, 2018

Clacking and snapping, an Ozone Warbler clings desperately to the trunk of a tree as taxidermists easily pull it down.
"This new grapple-gun works great," says a taxidermist. "Now we don't have to climb the stupid trees anymore. I can't wait to pluck it!"
"I can't wait to stuff it!" says another grinning taxidermist with twitchy hands.

[Rick Masters]

June 25, 2018

The novice taxidermist cautiously approaches the sleeping Ozone Warbler.
"Wadda I do now?" he whispers harshly to the master taxidermist watching from below.
"You grab it by the ankle and pull it toward you," the master shouts.
"Shhhhh!! You'll wake it!" protests the novice.
"Well, what do you think is gonna happen when you grab it by the ankle?" the master responds.
"What?"
"It's gonna wake up," the master says, exasperated.
"Is it gonna be mad?"
"Probably."
"Wadda I do then?"
"You make it a cup of coffe and give it one of these donuts."
"I do?" whispers the novice, confused.
"No, dummy. You drag it out of the tree and bring it down here. Then we pluck it and stuff it."
"Why?"
"Because we're taxidermists. That's what we do."

[Frank Colver]

These are the lucky bastards that hit the trees instead of the rocks and dirt.

FC

[SamKellner]

These are the lucky bastards that hit the trees instead of the rocks and dirt.

FC

[Rick Masters]

June 2, 2018

This Ozone Warbler carries his tree with him so he can nest anywhere.
Video: https://vk.com/video_ext.php?oid=-151890430&id=456243036&hash=e642b9d3a9d41127
"Even after we removed the branch," said a taxidermist, "it wouldn't stop clucking. So we put the branch back in and plucked it and stuffed it."
"It looks great next to the fireplace," added the client. "It's so life-like! We just have to be careful when we grab firewood."
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

June 29, 2018

An ozone Warbler was spotted nesting on the overhead power cable of an electric express train.
Railroad workers gathered around, occasionally peering at their wristwatches, as the creature chirped happy calls of "Hallop! Hallop!"
"This should be good," said one.