[Frank Colver]

And again, the glider has survived undamaged.

An amazing invention: Paraglider - an aircraft that can kill its pilot without damage to the aircraft. Does it hold its resale value?

FC

[Rick Masters]

Does it hold its resale value?

If you can get the blood stains off, just put it on eBay like everybody else.
If you can't get the blood stains off, just dye it red.
Flying a red paraglider is kinda like the teenage motorcyclist who's mommy made him wear red underwear.
You're always prepared for the worst.        

[Rick Masters]

April 28, 2018

Although the Ozone Warbler was found dead in its nesting crater, taxidermists search for an egg, anyway.
"The egg appears to have been poached," said a taxidermist suspiciously, peering around.

[magentabluesky]

And again, the glider has survived undamaged.

An amazing invention: Paraglider - an aircraft that can kill its pilot without damage to the aircraft. Does it hold its resale value?

FC

So when a Paraglider claims a life, does it get a ParaPatch?

[Rick Masters]

"In this rare video, provided by one of our postgraduate researchers," says a professor from the university, "a tiny video camera has been affixed to the head of one of the creatures."     "Apparently, this Ozone Warbler - OW for short - was intent on nesting upon a rocky slope seemingly unsuited for reproductive purposes.
    "Or perhaps, as I suspect, it was attracted to the great phallic spire, which served as a beacon to the creature's primal Id.
    "Regardless, as the video shows, the creature squawks happily when it spots its nesting site, then dives toward the phallic spire and makes a deep nesting crater at its base.
    "It does this irregardless of the consequences - which could result in a broken egg, or worse!.
    "However, immediately following the nesting, the creature can clearly be heard attempting to lay an egg.
    "We can therefore surmise that it is the sudden onset of the urge to lay an egg, triggered by the subconscious recognition of a phallic symbol, be it a tree or rock structure, that causes these primative creatures to choose to make their distinct aboreal nests or nesting craters in less than ideal terrain."
    Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

July 29, 2018

Taxidermists begin plucking an Ozone Warbler despite the protestations of a starving peasant woman.
"I recognize it," says the woman. "It's Ozzie the Ozone Warbler!"
"Fergitaboutit, lady," says the taxidermist in the harness. "We got here first. It's ours!"
"But I'm starving!"
"Go find yer own. This one's ours. Now beat it. And take your fat, suspicious husband wit ya."

[Rick Masters]

August 5, 2018

High on a lonely ridgetop, taxidermists prepare to hike to a tree where it has been reported that an Ozone Warbler is nesting.
"I can't wait to pluck it!" says one taxidermist.
"I can't wait to stuff it!" says another.
"That's the spirit," says the Master Taxidermist with a nod.
"Do you think we'll need the ladder?" asks the novice taxidermist, worriedly eyeing the heavy extension ladder.
"Maybe," replies the Master Taxidermist. "If we do, we'll send you back for it. But for now, grab that cooler full of of beer over there by the bumper."
"Why?"
"Because we're in a heat wave and it's hot."
"Do I get one?"
"Maybe. If there's any left when you get back with the ladder."
"But I thought we didn't need the ladder."
"Well, it depends on how thirsty we are when we get there."
"How about I leave the cooler of beer here and take the ladder now?"
"Nope."
"Why?"
"We don't know if we'll need the ladder."


Meanwhile, high in its leafy perch, the Ozone Warbler chirps happily.
"Hallop! Hallop!"
Its cries echo through the peaceful forest.
Soon a mate will come.
And then, perhaps, an egg!
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

August 11, 2018

Clacking and snapping, an Ozone Warbler is lowered from its perch.
The novice taxidermist approaches the angry creature trepidatiously, but it twitches and snaps at him.
"I don't think it likes me!" he moans.
"Grab it by the ankle," instructs the master taxidermist. "That should calm it down."
"Like this?" asks the novice, reaching. "Hey, you're right. I think it likes me now!"
"That's not its ankle, you idiot!"

[Rick Masters]

August 7, 2018

Starving peasants carry an Ozone Warbler toward the bar-be-que.
"I'm so weak, I can hardly carry this thing!" says one.
"Me, too!" gasps another. "I'm starving."
"Where's Oscar? I thought he was going to help."
"He went to get some bar-be-que sauce."
"What happened to our only bottle of bar-be-que sauce?"
"I drank it."
"Whadda ya mean, you drank it? We need it for bar-be-que!"
"I was starving!"
"We're all starving!"
"That's why I drank it first."
"Yeah? Well hows about I eat this here Ozone Warbler first?"
"You can't."
"Why not?"
"We don't have any bar-be-que sauce."
"Dang!"

[Rick Masters]

August 1, 2018

As soon as the Ozone Warbler is pulled from its nesting crater, the novice taxidermists begin to pluck it.
"This is hard work!" exclaims a novice.
"Yes," says the Master Taxidermist, sagely. "But if it were easy, everyone would be a taxidermist."