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The following is a joke, so well played, that people continue to think it is real. It is not real folks, read or skim through the follow on posts to see how it was done. The main thing is that it baffled Tad for a while! (Note added January 15th, 2014 at 7:45am PST)
I need to breathe out my soul against Tad Eareckson for using “pressure tactics”—that's a euphemism for “torture”—to coerce ordinary people into pitting people against each other. I'm not a psychiatrist. Sometimes, though, I wish I were, so that I could better understand what makes people like him want to leave a generation of people planted in the mud of a mealymouthed, misinformed world to begin a new life in the shadows of nihilism. The underlying message is that tangible progress toward stopping him cannot await the resolution of all internecine conflict. I'd like nothing more than to extend my hand in friendship to Tad's helots and convey my hope that in the days to come we can work together to resolve a number of lingering problems. Unfortunately, knowing them, they'd rather waffle on all the issues because that's what Tad wants.
Tad has a knack for convincing the most tyrannical slimeballs you'll ever see that it is better that a hundred thousand people should perish than that he should be even slightly inconvenienced. That's called marketing. That's why you really have to look hard to see that what we're seeing is a domino effect of events that started with Tad stating that he's a wonderful human being. That prevarication incited his dupes to interfere with the most important principles of democracy. Notoriously ill-tempered airheads reacted, in turn, by lashing out at everyone and everything in sight. The next domino to fall, not surprisingly, was a widespread increase in allotheism, and that's the event that galvanized me to tell everyone that if you were to unpack and analyze the philosophical assumptions behind Tad's claim that the world's salvation comes from whims, irrationality, and delusions, you would find that he identifies with the most anti-democratic controversialists you'll ever see. To understand identity in the context of the present social order, however, one must first understand that Tad makes it sound like all literature that opposes Zendicism was forged by biggety masters of deceit. The evidence against that concept is so overwhelming, even an eight-year-old child can recognize it. Even so, Tad really ought to to take something for his hysterical paranoia. I've heard that chlorpromazine works well. Undoubtedly, some sort of medication should awaken Tad to the fact that by writing this letter, I am clearly sticking my head far above the parapet. The big danger is that Tad will retaliate against me. He'll most likely try to force me to react, on cue, to the trigger words that he has inserted into my mind by dint of endless repetition although another possibility is that he insists that he has no choice but to precipitate riots. His reasoning is that I'm some sort of cully who can be duped into believing that we can change the truth if we don't like it the way it is. Yes, I realize that that argument makes no sense, but Tad's put-downs are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they're totally cantankerous, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a supposedly educated population. And as if that weren't enough, if Tad honestly believes that some of my points are not valid, I would love to get some specific feedback from him.
As someone who is working hard to clarify and correct some of the inaccuracies present in Tad's soliloquies, I must point out that a man is known by the company he keeps. That's why I urge you to consider the Chaucerian panorama of drug addicts in Tad's claque: censorious deadheads, prurient fefnicutes, and nitpicky exponents of denominationalism, just to name a few. It's almost as if Tad wants us to think that he refers to a variety of things using the word “philoprogenitiveness”. Translating this bit of jargon into English isn't easy. Basically, Tad is saying that politically incorrect crybabies are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive, which we all know is patently absurd. At any rate, honor means nothing to him. Principles mean nothing to him. All he cares about is how best to torment, harry, and persecute anyone who crosses his path.
It will be objected, to be sure, that Tad doesn't honestly want to con us into sawing off the very tree limbs upon which we're sitting. At first glance this may seem to be true, but when you think about it further you'll decidedly conclude that he avers that taxpayers are a magic purse that never runs out of gold. Whether that's true or not, his evidence is corrupted by a vast amount of nonsense and outright fraud. Before we can further discuss Tad's claim we must acknowledge that Tad has been trying hard to separate us off into various, antagonistic camps. I maintain we should oppose that effort by restoring the ancient traditions that he has abandoned. Don't let yourself be persuaded by venom-spouting cheapjacks who secretly want to create division in the name of diversity. You may find it instructive to contrast the things I like with the things that Tad likes. I like listening to music. Tad likes inuring us to wily credentialism. I like kittens and puppies. Tad likes attacking the critical realism and impassive objectivity that are the central epistemological foundations of the scientific worldview. I like spending time with friends. Tad likes threatening anyone who's bold enough to state that many people are shocked when I tell them that he can't imagine life without snobbism. And I'm shocked that so many people are shocked. You see, I had thought everybody already knew that he says that he wants to make life better for everyone. Lacking a coherent ideology, however, he always ends up breaking us up into a set of quarreling, wrangling, squabbling factions.
Similarly, Tad wants to stigmatize any and all attempts to ask the tough questions and not shy away from the tough answers. Alas, that's a mere ripple on the stuporous ocean of Machiavellianism in which Tad will drown any attempt to solve the problems of McCarthyism, prætorianism, economic inequality, and lack of equal opportunity. I mean, really. Like I said, some day, his noxious devotees may ask you why you think it's a good idea to stick to the facts and offer only those arguments that can be supported by those facts. If you're too stunned to answer immediately they'll answer for you, probably stating that individual worth is defined by race, ethnicity, religion, or national origin. You should therefore be prepared to tell these short-sighted, bilious dissemblers that once people obtain the critical skills that enable them to think and reflect and speculate independently, they'll realize that one of the bewildering paradoxes of our time is the extent to which Tad is willing to needle and wheedle jealous scroungers into his brotherhood of hypocritical zobs, especially given that he himself would be affected by such actions. Finally, it is not at all unlikely that in this letter I have said some things to which many of my readers may take exception. It has not been any part of my purpose either to please or to displease anybody but simply to tell the truth and to say, so far as I have given expression to my views, precisely what I think.
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