[SamKellner]

[Rick Masters]

A taxidermist demonstrates a new method for removing Ozone Warblers from trees.
    "It works every time," he says. "No more obnoxious snapping and squawking to contend with."
    Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

Artist's concept of a falling Ozone Warbler egg.

"It has been suggested," said a professor from the university, "that the egg of an Ozone Warbler may drift on the wind when it becomes separated from its nest. This would explain the difficulty in finding these eggs - they are nowhere near the nesting crater."



"More likely, however, is the fact that these eggs are very fragile and, when smashed in a nesting attempt, they are prized by small, wild, foraging animals that carry off all traces of the egg."

[Rick Masters]

Potential new Ozone Warbler nemesis identified
"If she ever gets her hands on their eggs, it's curtains for the Ozone Warbler," sad a professor from the university, worriedly.
"Presently, the only known natural predators of the Ozone Warbler are the Great Crunchy Northern Warbler and, of course, the Ozone Warbler itself," he added.

[Rick Masters]

April 14, 2016

High on a misty, forested mountainside, an Ozone Warbler nests peacefully. Occasionally the contented chirps of "Hallop! Hallop!" echo through the trees. Soon a female may spot his brilliant plumage and join him. Then, perhaps, an egg will come.

[Rick Masters]

Responding to reports from hikers of an Ozone Warbler nesting in the forest, a team of taxidermists trek late into the night.

After several hours of searching, they locate the creature high in a tree.

Snapping and squawking, the angry creature is lowered to the ground.

Suddenly a cook from a nearby Korean restaurant leaps out of the darkness and begins plucking the confused creature.
    "Stop!" shouts the master taxidermist, outraged. "It's ours. We're going to stuff it."
    "I give you fifty dollar for the chicken of the sky," counters the cook.
    "Well, I don't know..." ponders the taxidermist.
    I give you two Labor day breakfast special!"
    "Well, I don't know..."
    "Arrgh!" cries the cook. "I give you 5-course Labor day barbeque special and Tokki Soju! Tokki Soju!"
    "Tokki Soju, huh? Well, I could sure use a drink but that stuff will kick your butt..."
    Then after a long pause, the taxidermist finally says, "Well, okay," and his team cheers.
    Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

September 4, 2016

Two taxidermists and three cooks from a nearby Korean restaurant, assisted by several hungry customers, search the nesting crater of an Ozone Warbler for an egg.
Unfortunately, no egg was found.


"Where is everybody? Where's my egg? What kind of restaurant is this?"

[Rick Masters]

Three cooks from a nearby Korean restaurant begin plucking an Ozone Warbler found nesting in a van.
"I wish dese Ozone Warblers or whatever dey are would nest in trees like other birds," said the van's owner, visibly distraught. "Lookit my window! Now I gotta fix dat!"
Unfortunately, no egg was found.

[Rick Masters]

September 6, 2016

Deep in the forest, an Ozone Warbler rests peacefully.
Soon a female will come.
Then perhaps an egg!
Then three cooks from a nearby Korean restaurant.

[Rick Masters]

September 10, 2016

High in the branches of a tree, a lonely Ozone Warbler gazes patiently into the distance.
Soon a female will spot his nest from above and join him.
Then an egg may come!